1dering at stars

I love this! Its magical and enchanting, and grasped my attention and imagination fully. My one suggestion is that you leave out all the parts where you actually say that ...

I wrote this a few months ago, then abandoned it because I sort of got to a place where I wasn't sure what to write next and felt stuck. Anyways, ...

I think this needs a bit of work. I'll start with typos: 1. It always rain in the middle of Mat. Did you mean May? 2. In the beginning of ...

Oops! never mind, I found it! Sorry!

Hi, I'm sort of new an I can't find 'my YWS' anywhere. Help?

I agree with what was said above; you need to show us more instead of tell us. This will help to make your story more interesting and engaging as well ...

It seems like there are quite a few lines that were just stuck in here for the sake of rhyming. Example: Darkness Darkness brings death Darkness only gives you one ...

Sorry!!! I thought that this was about a dog! Knowing now that it was a cat I picture the whole story differently, but its still just as good! I probably ...

Thanks for the comments everyone. I agree with pretty much everything you've said, thanks for your help!

Fly softly over my fields When you shake your feathers loose Sing slowly down Lilting On frozen air like slices of glass Sit softly by my window When you tremble ...

Sorry, I didn't know what a spoiler was, that was just meant to be crossed out!

This is really great!!! I love the idea, it is fun and captures perfectly the playfulness of a dog. There are a few parts where I think it gets a ...

He was an old man. Withered and dry like last autumn’s apple. His cap, pulled down low over his forehead, shadowed his eyes where they dwelt like two pale, blue ...

I think that this is really good except for the format. Maybe try: My heart that yearns to be with one who wishes nothing that of the other ... new ...

This is really good. I'm not sure I understand everything, but I probably would if you wrote more. It's interesting and makes you want to keep reading. Good job on ...